“Create A YouTube Channel” I said

For years, I have loved watching other people create funny, cute, inspiring videos and upload them to YouTube. This year, one of my resolutions was to “Create a YouTube Channel”. Keep in mind I’ve said this for years, but I’ve always been scared of what people would say, or I would give up because I didn’t know what to film. I’ve always wanted to be on the screen. So finally, I created my channel. I created it around January 8th, and about two months later, I have around 250 subscribers. HELL YEAAAHHHHHH. Okay, obviously not the highest number you’ve ever seen a youtuber have, but it’s something! I hope you guys want to join me on my YouTube experience by watching my videos and subscribing!

My YouTube Channel

 

Also, I suggest that if there is anything you’ve been wanting to do for a long time but have not gotten around to do it, DO IT. Stop pushing it away and start pulling it closer to you. It’ll just be the beginning and everything will only rise from here on out!

Xoxo, Courtney Leigh

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Four Months.

I know it has been four months, but I still look for you everywhere I go. Sometimes I feel like we could just pick up where we had left, right before we fought. We were bestfriends, but I guess if we were truly bestfriends, nothing would get in between us. So I guess we weren’t bestfriends, but it sure felt real. It felt like a breakup with a boyfriend, but worse because from my past experience,  I truly believe bestfriends are supposed to stick around for the rest of your life. One time I thought I saw you. My heart raced, I couldn’t think straight, and I began to panic. That’s when I realized it still hurts my heart. From the minute we met, I instantly fell in love with our friendship. You made me feel confident, happy, and safe with you. I wish I could say I still felt the same. It’s been four months since we last texted. It’s been four months since I’ve seen your smile. Late at night, I tend to think about our lost friendship. It’s been four months, and I still miss you. I know it could never be the same with us. I know that if we ever see each other in person again, we will probably look the other way. I know that we have become strangers with memories I will cherish for the rest of my life. Thanks for a great summer and thanks for the year of friendship, stranger. If only you knew I was thinking of you.

Many Firsts

In the past two weeks, I have experienced two very different types of celebrations. One of these events were to celebrate a union of a man and woman, and the other was the celebration of a life that once was and now was gone.

My First Wedding

I was so excited to go to a wedding. Being eighteen years old, you would think I had gone to a wedding before, but this was the first one I have ever attended. The moment I got there, I knew I would love it more then anything. And I did. There was so much love in one place, so many beautiful people expressing their feelings, and so much happiness filled the air. It felt as if I were in a movie itself. Going to this wedding made me excited for my own wedding in the far future.

After being to a wedding, you’d think all is right in the world. Seeing two beautiful people want to spend the rest of their life together because they loved each other could make everyone feel as though they were in love themselves.

All is well in the world, until it’s not.

My First Funeral

It truly didn’t hit me that my friend was gone forever until I walked into the building for the service. He was only nineteen years old, we were the class of 2016 together, and he was on his way to college. How am I supposed to react when someone texts me out of the blue and says “Hey, did you hear he died”? Of course I didn’t hear he died, because he couldn’t have! He is only nineteen! We go to church together!

How am I supposed to react when multiple people are texting me and saying “His death was an accident, he’s gone”. Shock. Disbelief. You don’t know how to react. Is this real? A week passes by and nothing. You continue to go to classes, see friends, and watch movies. Then you attend the service.

Yesterday, August 28th 2016, I attended my first funeral. Yesterday, everything became clear. Yesterday, I realized he was gone.

I believe it’s okay to grieve for the ones you’ve lost. It’s also okay to celebrate the time you had with them. You’ll wish you had more time with them, that you hugged them a little longer then you had, and you’ll wish they were sitting next to you right now. And that’s okay.

These two extremely different events made me realize that life is way to short. Always make sure you know you’re loved and the ones around you are loved. You never know how long you have on Earth, so you need to make your seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years count.

Don’t worry about the past and don’t worry about the future. Worry about the NOW.

Congratulations to the beautiful wedded husband and wife.

and

Congratulations to God for getting a beautiful young man who has entered heaven. You’ll be missed.